This is a review of a speech Ben gave at St. Cloud State University in St. Cloud, Minnesota on March 24, 2003. It was featured in the St. Cloud State University Chronicle.

     Humorist Ben Stein enthralled a crowd of  at Hallenback Hall on Monday night.  Stein, a political humorist who is best known for his game show on Comedy Central, spoke for almost an hour on almost every topic imaginable: parents, children, college, and how to ruin your life.  The latter comes from the title of Stein’s latest book, and the excerpts he read had the audience in hysterics.
    At a press conference that was held shortly before the show, Stein ruminated on his feelings about St. Cloud.  This being his first time here, he was “hoping for a cancellation of all the planes so I would have to stay here for a few more days, but unfortunately, no.”  The people of St. Cloud have also made their impression on Ben Stein as well, for he spoke very highly of how nicely he was treated up here: “Everywhere I go, people are trying to buy me drinks.  I don’t want to be rude and tell them that I don’t drink much, so I pretend to sip.”  Stein’s game show “Win Ben Stein’s Money” is on it’s seventh and last season.  The show garnered over 25 Emmy nominations during its run, which means “that of all the Emmy’s Comedy Central has ever been nominated for, we are responsible for 90 percent of them,” said Stein. 
    When Stein entered Hallenback Hall, he stopped to tie his shoe on one of the bleachers.  Those present didn’t seem to notice, and the applause was sustained and enthusiastic.  Dressed in a navy blue suit with a green tie and a pink shirt, Stein sported a pair of what looked like tan Sketchers.
    Stein opened his speech with a quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald, about how “no one who had not actually lived there could appreciate how wonderful life is between the Mississippi and Missouri Rivers.  This is really the essence of great living for the whole world.”   Before he began his speech in earnest, he asked for 15 seconds of silence so that “the innocents on both sides of the war in Iraq may be spared,” during which the only thing that could be heard was the buzz of the fluorescent lighting and the dull hum of the air vents.
    After that, Stein proceeded to loosen up the audience with a 20-minute monologue of jokes, ranging in subject matter from the Gopher hockey team to the fact that he was a Republican in Hollywood.  Stein speaks with his characteristic monotone for which he is most known, but instead of being boring, it has the opposite effect.  He has a presence on stage that draws the audiences’ attention like a magnet.  
    Stein spoke of parenthood, and of his 15-year old son, whom he described as the “world’s laziest human being who still as a pulse.”  His son had a serious video game addiction, something which boggles Stein’s mind.  He spoke of Everquest and Day of Defeat in the same world-weary tone as one might use to describe a plague.
    “How to Ruin Your Life,” Stein’s latest book, has been by far his most popular.  It has sold more copies than “all of my previous books put together.  He read excerpts from this book, much to the audience’s delight.  With rules such as “Self-discipline isn’t necessary,” and “envy everybody,” these rules are the exact opposite of anything a parent would say to a child, which may be part of their appeal.  The single best way to ruin one’s life, according to Stein, is to “have a romantic relationship with someone with a lot of problems and believe that you could change them.”  He received sustained applause and cheers for this last statement.
    Carrying on with the theme of love, Stein wrote another book called “How to Ruin Your Love Life,” which used the same formula of bad advice presented as good advice.  This book comes out in August, and Stein made it known with great fanfare that we were the first people to get and excerpts from it.  Going by the crowd response, this book will probably do as well as his last one.
    After talking about his books, Stein spoke of his college years, and how he learned to be grateful to his parents and grateful for everything in general.  He gave advice on important things that people should do in life, ranging from “be thrifty” to “fall in love.”
    In the closing moments of his talk, Stein spoke of his parents, and how he deepened his relationship with them.  He also spoke of the day he finally realized he couldn’t be the best at everything he did, and how it changed him.  When he finished, Stein took several questions from the audience members, ranging in subject matter from his opinion on the national debt to “how to win Ben Stein’s money.”
    With being a judge on Star Search, and being a prolific author, one might think that Stein wouldn’t have the time to tour.  Not so.
“He tours college campuses, goes on many different TV shows, so he’s always touring.  That’s basically his career,” said Amanda Hallfrisch, an SCSU junior who is the National Events Coordinator on the University Program Board (UPB).  The process involved in getting Stein here involved a committee action to decide to bring him, and they went through his agent. 
     Despite the fact that his talk show was cancelled after three seasons, and “Win Ben Stein’s Money is in it’s last season, Stein seems happy.  His latest gig is as a judge on Star Search, where he works with Naomi Judd and a handful of other revolving judges.  From the sound of it, Stein couldn’t be happier.  “If you could write to God for a job, and have it be the best job in America, it would be being a judge on Star Search,” said Stein. 

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